Becoming Floral

“I want to live for the sake of art,” I told my therapist in early 2024.

In April of 2024, I was no longer depressed. I had lived with depression for over three years before that spring. During my darkness, I turned to poetry. Writing became my lifeline. A Floral Mind — my online space on Instagram — became a home for my self-expression, where I shared pieces of my mental health journey, reflections, and, yes, my suicidal thoughts.

What I wanted was to escape that feeling, the suffocating ache, the absence of light. And don’t we all, sometimes?

Throughout my fight and the deepening understanding of my mind, I had the community of A Floral Mind on Instagram. I had support not only through my self-expression, but from online friends and other writers. I am so grateful for the people who held my hand and helped me stand up when I was lost in my mind. And I will never forget that kindness.

But a lot of the inner work I did has brought me to who I am now:
A creative and poetic artist.

I call all creativity art, even poetry. And I love poetry. But now i would like to express it even more creatively.

And my will to live engulfs my mind. I’m not going anywhere. I must live for the sake of art.

After no longer being depressed, there was still more work to do.
I discovered self-love and learned to love myself. I focused on healing.
I abstained from poetry and my poetry community.
I began writing in my mind. I began living the poetry I was meant to be.

And although it hurts to say, I never wrote the flow of words that came to mind.
To me, it was like prayer. Like poetry was something I had to become to be the artist I truly am.

Time heals all, but time also teaches.
I am merely a child of the universe.
And self-love was the best decision I ever made.

Then 2025 came around. To be honest, it has been the hardest year of my life.

I’m not depressed, but I’m dealing with other issues I may bring to light through poetry.
I’m working on getting better. I’m not going to let my difficulties stop me from being my creative self. I will create, for that is my kind of love.

No one will ever fully know the poem of what I’ve gone through.
And I wouldn’t change a thing. Not the pain nor the peace.

Because presently, I am my most authentic self.
Written out so strong and so proud.
Unapologetic and rooted.

I healed in places where flowers aren’t allowed to bloom. Yet, I still bloomed.

I learned about my floral mind — her gives and her takes.

It’s okay for me to be sensitive and soft, weird and quirky, kind and unique.

These are not weaknesses.
These are my seeds.

I fear nothing. Fear is only a knock on my door, and my hands are too busy holding a pen and a camera.

Now that I am my most authentic self: A woman who’s faced her darkest and most delicate mind and still chose to bloom — I present the world my garden.

The world deserves to know the mind of an artist — A Floral Mind.

February 8th, 2024
The day I told my therapist, “I want to live for the sake of art.”